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- This section opens without a smooth transition, and introduces a merchant in a style that is more narrative than encyclopedic. The reader is left wondering at the end of this paragraph: "Who are the Turkiyya in the section head? Who is Al-Zubeir, and why is his singular account important?" While this is answered below, the flow creates tension for a reader seeking a higher-level description of the circumstances (en)
- Who are the Jellaba? (en)
- a) "Historiography has established" somewhat vague — scholarly consensus? lead scholar? b) what "external pressures"? geographic, climate, political? the social group infighting described below? (en)
- What does "imperial and imperialized" mean, exactly? Remember that this shold be written for a non-specialist audience, likely unfamiliar with the intricacies of academic discussions of critical theory, post-colonial studies, etc. How does this information above relate specifically to Deim Zubeir? Is it because it was Zubeir's capital? That isn't quite made clear above. (en)
- Is an autobiography a reliable source for this sort of claim? At the very least, attribution inline is needed. (en)
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