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- I'm not overweight, I'm undertall. (en)
- Jon: Tell me, Liz, haven't we met somewhere before? A rice paddy in Hong Kong?
Liz: Look, jerk. I'll be the vet for your cat, but I won't play fall guy for your stupid lines. Understood?
Jon, shocked: Uh-huh. So long, doctor.
Liz: Have a nice day. (en)
- Garfield, reading the report card: "Jon has not shoved any crayons up his nose this term." (en)
- Jon: Here's my sixth-grade report card. My parents were so proud. (en)
- Jon: I think I'm having some kind of identity crisis.
Garfield, walking past Odie who is lying in a kitchen drawer: He thinks he's having an identity crisis ... Odie thinks he's a potato peeler. (en)
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