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- Rudi's credit card is declined when she exceeds her limit trying to buy the kids the latest shoes, and the other moms taunt her for being poor, and she discovers that her royalty checks have decreased. Then a naked 2Bit comes to stay with her for a "spiritual journey"; when she demands rent from him, he says he can't because he got rid of his money as part of the "spiritual journey." Rudi thinks of selling her blood to buy the kids the newest fads, but the blood bank won't let her, so she heads to a drug-testing facility and takes a drug dose which inflicts temporary blindness, swelled tongue, rapid hair growth, etc. Meanwhile, the kids face constant discrimination for not having the latest fads because Rudi gets them a day too late, and Dick overhears that 2Bit's spiritual advisor is a scam artist. (en)
- When her ex Jeffrey arrives with divorce papers, Rudi discovers that he's trying to marry an elderly heiress - who not only wants Rudi's husband, but her kids as well. The battle is on. (en)
- Depressed because her teacher doesn't like her project, Apple suddenly assumes that she's not good at anything. Rudi decides to help her out, and after Apple writes a really good play, Rudi convinces the principal to use it and make Rudi the director. (en)
- Dick thinks he needs to be "the man" of the house because his dad is gone, so Greg suggests that Dick and Joel have a sleepover. Meanwhile, the neighborhood is mad at Rudi since she never throws sleepovers and they threaten to disinvite Apple from their sleepovers. Rudi decides to throw a sleepover but can't tell the difference between a sleepover and a "girls' night out". (en)
- After Rudi accidentally leaves the kids at school, Apple develops an unnatural bond with the school vending machine and is secretive to Rudi about what she does at recess. When Rudi finally finds out, she steals the machine with Greg's help, after telling him she wants to get rid of it because it causes obesity. She puts it in Apple's bed at night, and Apple thinks "Machine Mommy" has come to live with her. But she soon gets too clingy to "Machine Mommy" and Rudi becomes jealous after seeing Greg with Joel and Sarah with Fergus. When Rudi and Greg put squirrels in the vending machine, Apple thinks "Machine Mommy" is telling her to eat healthier. As a last resort, Rudi pretends to be "Machine Mommy" and tells her she's not cool. Apple goes running back to Rudi, and they destroy the vending machine together. Meanwhile, a friendless Dick tries to make friends, so he looks it up on the Internet and buys a monkey friend who gets too clingy and wants to kill everybody Dick likes. (en)
- Rudi becomes so lazy that she relies on Sarah to look after Dick and Apple as well as her own son, Fergus. Sarah admits that she wishes she could be as loose as Rudi, who promptly makes Sarah hew new project, encouraging her to take some 'me' time. When Sarah suggests going to a book club, Rudi suggests something more extreme and they join a drunk mom on her binge, and Dick's teacher joins in for their absurd hijinks. They soon get caught by the cops, but get a free pass by befriending them. But Sarah takes things too far and calls Rudi a lightweight, and when Fergus wakes up in a pile of sausages and can't find his mother, he approaches Rudi. She finds Sarah at the bottom of a Siberian sausage shop, drunk and covered in snake venom, thinking that a bottle of gin is Fergus. She snaps out of her trance, but must fight a world-class snake-venom fighter. Meanwhile, when Travis bullies Dick about his father leaving, he searches for a substitute dad and hangs out with a prison convict. (en)
- Apple gets scurvy because Rudi doesn't feed her suitable foods, so Rudi gives her drugs so she'll like fruits and vegetables. An exceptionally smart girl named Agnes Chu wins many awards, so gives Apple many drugs, to the point where Apple becomes addicted to them, though Rudi refuses to admit it because of all the awards they help her win. Apple soon becomes hostile and addicted to winning. Meanwhile, Dick does a report on a chicken, which turns into a report on animal rights when the chicken becomes anthropomorphic after being exposed to Apple's drugs. (en)
- During her attempt to quit smoking, Rudi invites a group of NYC hipsters to her house to "immerse" themselves in suburbia – while she immerses herself in their second-hand smoke. Dick takes care of a very sickly citizen. (en)
- After Rudi is pressured by the other neighborhood mothers to clean her yard, she hires an undocumented worker named Salvador who does such a great job that she no longer needs Greg to fix things. Greg becomes jealous and pretends to be an undocumented worker. Rudi hires him but prefers Salvador, so she hires Greg as entertainment. Fed up with Salvador, Greg calls Customs & Immigration on Salvador, so Rudi decides to marry Salvador as a green card marriage. Greg gets mistaken for the undocumented worker, while Salvador wants some love in their marriage. Meanwhile, Dick starts a lemonade stand. (en)
- Rudi and her artist 2Bit are caught in a scandal involving shooting kids in Central America; so the media won't label her a monster, she diverts all the criticism to her employer. She is successful - at the cost of her job, career, and husband. She must move to the Canadian suburbs, where she soon realizes she's a terrible mother. She meets fellow mom Sarah and stepdad/terrible life coach Greg. She's embarrassed when Apple won't swim because of a story Rudi told her about a kid who falls into a crocodile-infested river, and when Dick has an allergic reaction to peanuts from peanut bars she gave him, and the moms tease her about it. She gets depressed and she's about to sell the kids on eBay when an optimistic Sarah puts the situation in a different perspective, as a chance to one-up the other moms. Rudi throws Dick a birthday party hoping to increase her status; when Jenny, top rival-mom of Sarah and Rudi, tries to sabotage the party, 2Bit appears and performs a song. Rudi is successful and gains her children's love. (en)
- After men start looking at Jenny instead of Rudi, she fears she's losing her swagger, and the cure is her shoes, which results in attention from the other moms. A jealous Jenny convinces a lonely Dick to contribute to the charity auction at school. When he asks an oblivious Rudi if he can donate something to the auction, she lets him, but he auctions her irreplaceable shoes. While she stresses over them. Sarah is desperate to please her husband, while 2Bit is trying to write a new song after failing to triumph at a recent award show. Rudi, Sarah, and 2Bit discover that Rudi's shoes are now owned by poor people! She can't stand this, and the trio embarks on an adventure to retrieve every single shoe. Soon she finds a person who has an unnatural interest in shoes and makes a deal with him. Meanwhile, she makes Apple and Dick believe a witch is in the hallways, and they seek help from Greg, who also believes in the witch. (en)
- To avoid concerns that she’s on the prowl, Rudi invents a fake boyfriend. 2Bit provides Rudi with the newest in erotic technology, a sexbot that turns out to be too much for her. Meanwhile, sparks fly between Dick and his new tutor, Agnes Chu. (en)
- Struck by lightning, Apple becomes a miracle child complete with healing powers and followers, which Rudi embraces for all its perks. When Apple's faithful become overwhelming, Rudi must find a way to disperse them. (en)
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