Burnistoun is a Scottish comedy sketch show broadcast by BBC Scotland, written by the comedians Iain Connell and Robert Florence. The show was produced by The Comedy Unit. The series is set in a fictional Scottish town called Burnistoun in the greater Glasgow area. Characters include Kelly McGlade, Burnistoun's answer to Beyoncé; Paul and Walter, the disturbingly odd brothers that run an ice cream van; Jolly Boy John, who tells the things that make him "For Real" to the accompaniment of a happy hardcore soundtrack; James Duncan, a self-aware fan who makes jokes at the expense of the audience; McGregor and Toshan (the "quality polis"), best friends Scott and Peter and the Burnistoun Butcher, a serial killer who is unhappy with the way he is being portrayed by the media. The town's name is d