"All Quiet on the Western Front" is a song by English musician Elton John with lyrics by Bernie Taupin. It is the closing track of his 1982 album, Jump Up!. It was also released as a single in the UK without charting. The song's only live performances came during John's world tour during 1982, outside North America. At a concert on Christmas Eve of the same year at the Hammersmith Apollo, London, John jokingly announced that, at the time, it was "the worst-selling single in Phonogram's history".