| ShortSummary
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- Out on patrol, Joan and Lt. Croft complain about clients who are too cheap to pay for JJK. Croft says if he had his way, the guards would have mandatory training so the clients get better service. At the office, Lt. Croft notes that Joan has fallen off her diet and she says Parkinson's disease is affecting her mobility, so she can't dance to stay in shape any more. Lt. Croft holds the first training session outside of the JJK office, during which a large man steals a bicycle from right in front of them. The guards fail the challenge, incorrectly describing the culprit. He then has them complete an obstacle course while blindfolded, causing them to stumble into walls and poles, and go to a karate studio and learn hand-to-hand combat using their flashlights. They play a shooting simulation game at the local high school to teach them when they should use lethal force. Next, they must navigate a paintball course without weapons while Joan and Lt. Croft shoot at them from above. Meanwhile, Irwin goes to an electronics store to get new speakers for Joan so she'll "start dancing again." He and Joan also visit the doctor and successfully get a higher dosage of medicine. Later, the team cheers Joan on as she walks up and down the driveway. Irwin surprises her with the new stereo system, complete with a light and fog machine, and she dances to the music. (en)
- Irwin asks executive coach Dr. Sandy McKenzie to tour the security business and offer suggestions about improving its professionalism, which Joan is not happy with, since it is her company. The doctor meets with each employee to critique them and get their perspectives. All employees comment on Irwin's hoarding problem. Joan's excessive use of profanity is also critiqued. After seeing that Joan chooses not to change her language, the doctor focuses on Irwin's "disgusting" office. It is revealed that not only is the office cluttered, but it is also a storage unit and the Koplan basement. After several personal items are uncovered in the clean-up, Irwin postpones the process for two months. Joan remains skeptical. In the episode, she also reveals that she has Parkinson's disease and dances as a form of physical therapy. (en)
- After having his breasts removed, Dennis wants to start dating and asks advice from his friend Sherry Dee Allen, who paints a mural in his living quarters to give it a woman's touch. They also go on a practice date, where she teaches him proper topical etiquette, and he admits to still being in love with Joan. Meanwhile, Brian and Christa help him set up an online dating profile so he can meet women, but before an actual date, he caters to Joan. He and his date play miniature golf, where they meet Irwin, who is upset with the hobby after abandoning regular golf, fishing, solitaire and kite-flying to help him relax. Things go well, and Dennis and his date make future plans. (en)
- Brian tells Irwin that JJK Security has lost a major client. Brian explores other job opportunities in case JJK fails, while Dennis stays optimistic by spending his own money on promotional fliers and an employee appreciation day. Meanwhile, Joan is not interested in her show and does not respond well to two new co-hosts, including Christa's friend Ken, who has four personalities. Joan also finds it difficult expressing herself, and the staff worries she's off her Parkinson's medication and urges her to see a doctor. To help with the show, Christa first takes Joan shopping, then recruits comedian Gilbert Gottfried, who she met at a comedy club, as the new co-host. However, when she and Gilbert arrive to film the show, Joan never shows up and Gilbert hosts solo. Simultaneously, Brian and Dennis worry that they cannot reach Irwin, who they need to seek out new business for JJK. Back in the studio, Christa receives a phone call that someone is in the hospital. (en)
- Irwin's cousin Neil visits the Koplan house where Irwin talks about Neil's wild life. Later, Neil visits the office. Brian says that Neil only comes to the office because he is hungry. Joan laughs that Neil loves food so much, he calls everything from Chinese food to spaghetti "gorgeous." Neil finishes a sandwich then departs. A week later, Neil dies from heart failure. In the funeral procession, women dressed in fur coats ride in a car and wave to passersby. After the funeral, the JJK team reminisces about Neil. Brian asks about the ladies in fur, to which Irwin states Neil's daughter thought this would be a fitting tribute to her father, who was such a lothario. In honor of the deceased, they hang Neil's photo above the chair where he always sat. Thinking about his own mortality, Irwin looks to rekindle his relationship with Joan and surprises her with ballroom dancing lessons. They later profess their love to each other at a scenic overlook, although they are at odds on the subject of Lt. Croft. (en)
- Dennis has found JJK some new business — security for a mud-bogging event, where participants ride trucks through mud. Christa, who regularly rides ATVs with her mother, wants to enter the contest. At the event, the team, disappointed with the turnout, only encounters a rogue mouse. Christa gets stuck in the mud on her turn and is removed by a bulldozer. Meanwhile, Lambchop becomes ill. Distraught, Joan asks Dennis to take the dog to the vet to put her down. Later, Irwin helps Joan find a new dog. They adopt Charlotte. At the Koplan house, the team says goodbye to Lambchop and eat hamburgers, her favorite food. Attempting to lighten their moods, they all attend a roller derby match, including Charlotte. (en)
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